| I wish that i was as invisible as you make me feel |
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| wow |
[It's Saturday Feb 18th, 9:51pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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Led Zeppelin |
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havent written anything is this for a long ass time... lets see whats changed...me n ang broke up...im seriously in love w/my boy friend chris...we've been together for a little over 7 months...i dont know what id do w/out him...i love him w/all of my heart, no lie...but right now me n him are having a little fight si yay :( .....
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| well... |
[It's Friday May 6th, 11:21pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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 anxious to see angelo |
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music |
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From Autumn To Ashes |
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I was talking to Dorsey today bout me n Angelo..Ive been thinking bout breaking it off w/him but only b/c its hard to seeing him.It wod be easier for him just to go out w/someone from his own skool..I mean i rly rly like him but idk..We dont talk as much anymore n hes always busy n we see each other if we're lucky once every two weeks..Idk hes supposed to go over to Dan's tomorrow n Dan that they wood stop by on sunday but idk if i can..Ive been pretty happy since i started going out w/him but last nite he called me n we talked for only fucking twenty minutes n idk why but that nite i cried myself to sleep..Now im rly depressed..
i wish i was someones everything instead of everyones nothing...
i miss angelo :(
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| ... |
[It's Thursday May 5th, 7:19pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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stressed |
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music |
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From Autumn To Ashes |
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Im in a rly weird mood rite now n im not sure why. Ive been thinking alot bout me n Angelo n idk but its been rly hard to see him..i mean im lucky if i see him once a week..im just rly nervous of him cheating..i feel weird round him b/c im older n idk..i havent seen him in a week n i wanna see him so badly..but w/e knoing my luck he'll break up w/me then next time i talk to him..i think i shood just go lesbien..guys dont like me wen i think they do n then they go n cheat behind my bac which rly fucking hurts but w/e..im done bitching..
you kno i care...wood you be depressed if i attend the wedding but only as a guest?
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| yea... |
[It's Sunday May 1st, 11:13am -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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not myself |
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music |
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Senses Fail |
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welll yesterday me n angelo went to battle of the bands at Lancaster High Skool..i had fun..i meet sum of his friends..they were rly nice n funny...mom n amber n kowalski like him so far...so thats good...me n tiffy are talking bout the whole chris thing..i can believe he wood do that..o well im happy now w/angelo so fuck chris..i hope he dies from overdoseing(not rly, thats mean)....w/e..
die young n save yourself!!
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| now people suck |
[It's Friday Apr 29th, 3:32pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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angry |
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music |
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Brand New |
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as soon as i got online i has some e-mails so i read em...one was to jizz n it was a reply to her livejournal n it said "you really fuckin piss me off sometimes"...her entry said bout how she hung out w/tiffy, joshy n tom n how her n tom talked n evrything...that reply was so fucking rude..whoever sent that is an asshole..tom's leaving next friday to iraq..how could people be such complete fucking asholes like that...
so dont apologize, i hope you choke n die!!
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| guys...they fucking suck |
[It's Thursday Apr 28th, 8:13pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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 so alone |
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music |
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Static Lullaby |
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My friend just told me today that Chris cheated on me like everyday wen we were going out :( i ask who told her this n she said the grls bestfriend or atleast they were like bestfriends..but anyways i was so heart broken..i felt like crying..ahh i fucking hate guys..i swear its like every guy i went out w/they didnt even like me..i dont understand how people can cheat on their boyfriend or grlfriend n feel no shame bout it...i honestly think that none of my boyfriends even liked me..im just so blind wen it comes to relationships...i start to like a guy alot n idk im stupid n blind to think that anyone could like me..rite now im scared b/c i rly like Angelo n idk why he "likes" me...im so sic of getting hurt n think that nothing bads gunna happen...im sic of telling guys my feelings wen its too late n theyve long gone forgot bout me..Joshy"s older brother Tom is getting sent to iraq.. i feel so bad for him :( ive only meet Tom once n hes a great guy...i hope he comes home safely...i hope that Joshy doesnt do anything stupid b/c this is so hard on him which i can understand...
a shot in the head for all the thoughts of you that tore me apart...
a shot in the heart for all the feelings i had for you that made me hurt...
remember this wen i say my last goodbye...
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?
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| hm... |
[It's Wednesday Apr 27th, 4:37pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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nothing |
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music |
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A7X |
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sully n aaron are going bac out yay!! im so fucking happy for her!! ive been in such a good mood ever since i started to go out w/angelo...the only bad thing is that we dont live by each other n hopefully it works out still...
die young n save yourself!!
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| hmm... |
[It's Sunday Apr 24th, 9:33pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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 depressed but happy |
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music |
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As I Lay Dying |
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well me n jizz were talking bout chris today n now im all depressed n miss him again...but omg i rly like angelo!...he asked me to go to the battle of the bands w/him on saturday at his high skool i think if im not mistaken...hes sic so yay im gunna yet sic now...
to angelo...
forever your eyes will hold the memory
i saw your heart as it overtook me
we tried so hard to understand and reason
but in that one moment i gave my heart away
that perfect breath where my mind lay beside me
and all i knew was what had overtaken me
with no explanation i am comforted by inability to understand
when i wake from this dream will you still be here
will your smile still open my heart and leave me transparent
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| angelo.... :) |
[It's Saturday Apr 23rd, 10:38pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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As I Lay Dying |
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me n angelo n sully n lauren went to the movies today...i rly rly like angelo...omg hes so nice n hes so sweet..treats me very very good..he told me he got his hair cut n i was nervous to see his hair now b/c i liked his long hair but he looks good...i had fun today altho i wasnt rly paying attention to the movie b/c i fell asleep n other things...ahhh i rly like him:)
forever your eyes will hold the memory
i saw your heart as it overtook me
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| hmmm...hi |
[It's Monday Apr 18th, 5:08pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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like i have no heart |
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music |
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The Used |
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...well i guess me n josh are fine now so thats good n im rly happy w/angelo:)..hmm i have like emotions rite now...skools gay...got nothing else...
the more i try the more i lose but today remember me...
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| ahhhh... |
[It's Saturday Apr 16th, 10:11am -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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like im gunna scream |
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music |
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From Autumn To Ashes |
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yay im not single anymore...me n Angelo started going out on thursday..but fucking josh is rly fucking pissed at me which frankly i dont even care anymore hes been saying shit behind my bac n complaining bout me...he keeps asking jizz if i said anything bout him..the next time i see him or like hes online im just gunna tell him to basically fuck off...i rly hate it wen people say shit bout other people behind their bac..thats just immature..why do people havta be so gay?!...oooo adam n sully might go out!! im happy for her, hes a great kid..sullys grounded again:(..ok n jiz loves mark!!!!thats it....
i might love you but never show it, you shoood forget me, this is a long tour n ill be bac but not it time for.....
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| ....... |
[It's Tuesday Apr 12th, 6:41pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
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music |
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Matchbook Romance |
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fuck it all...
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| .......... |
[It's Sunday Apr 10th, 8:04pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Matchbook Romance |
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i dont kno what to bout my feelings anymore...im so pissed n sad n angry n depressed all at the same time..its tearing me apart...i love him...why cant he just try to talk to me instead of being pissed at me?..i feel like my heart has been ripped in 2...im as heartbroken as the 1st time he broke up w/me...i cant keep crying over him like this...he will never believe me bout anything...
i buried you along w/my heart...
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| ...(no comment)... |
[It's Friday Apr 8th, 11:32pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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Letter Kills |
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sometimes i seriously hate life n now i feel that way..i rly dont like people anymore..im getting ignored by the guy i love which i have no clue why hes doing that..i think he hates me..i miss him so much...n i still love him..he has no idea the way i still feel...
die young n save yourself!
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| ahhhhh |
[It's Wednesday Apr 6th, 8:01pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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Slipknot |
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what the fuck...ahh i fucking hate guys i swear..fucking chris wont even talk to me...he totally fucking freaked on me n was being a fucking jerk.i dont understand him anymore..i was trying to talk to him yesterday online n he just randomly got off n ddint come bac on i was like yea thats rly fucking kool.whatever i was gunna fucking talk to him n ask how we can work whatever we have out n posibly try being w/each other again.fuck love im fucking done!!
die young n save yourself!...
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| i kne he woodnt understand |
[It's Monday Apr 4th, 10:04pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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depressed |
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music |
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Hawthorne Heights |
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Well i was talking to Chris online n he asked me what i thought bout a dream his "friend was having".He finally admmited it was bout me n him.He asked me what i thought n i told that that i think it could possibly mean that he still has feelings for me.I told him that my feelings for him dont matter anymore n he asked why n i told him b/c he wood call my a lair.He said that he just acted that way b/c i was the only person that has ever treated like that.He doesnt understand that i miss him.Idk i think he still likes me but im not sure.I think he lost interest in me which woodnt be surprising.....
its only you beautiful, or i dont want anyone...
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| what am i doing? |
[It's Sunday Apr 3rd, 4:01am -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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Slipknot |
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I cant sleep, i only get a few hours of sleep, n i barely eat, well wen i do, it comes bac up.Im sic again.I have no idea whats wrong w/me now.Im so not myself n its kinda of creepy.I kno no one wil notice this that im not acting like myself, but i can tell.Sad thing is, is that i dont kno what im doing.
The more i try, the more i fail, but will you remember me 2-morrow?
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| i have a hot sister named jizz....hehe |
[It's Sunday Mar 27th, 1:24am -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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Jizz' beautiful voice n Matchbook Romance |
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Hmmm..yes my sister is named Jizz n yes she is hot.lol..i went skating friday for Angelo's b-day.He is now 14.Yea i like Angelo but of course he doesnt like me.But thats ok b/c i got Jizz.Nah i havta call Christopher later on in the week n the i decided the 1st thing imma say to him "you never loved me you dick!" idk me n Sully thought that i shood say that..I will but idk if hes gunna think im joking round.Well i hate guys, i like, like 3 but of course they dont like me.OO i called my sister a whore 2-day, yea that was fun.I feel so alone rite now.Sully n Aaron broke up:( but now shes going bac out w/her ex that she doesnt even rly like which is kool? idk im just talking outta my ass.N yet again Sam is all by her lonesome.Me n Dan are going to go elope n have kids b/c i <3 him n i dont like to see him mad.N i think im starting to like him.I was gunna kiss him friday b/c he was so sad n idk i think i just mite like him but im not sure.Uhhhh idk who i like anymore..i like bout 4 or 5 kids but i kno that they dont like me.Ok got nothing else.
lets pray for the suicide
n all these pictures falling down
one wish full, step to the side
n please just let me know...
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[It's Friday Mar 25th, 9:03am -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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rejected |
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music |
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From Autumn To Ashes |
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#1 You must tell 6 people about this game.
#2 Michael is the one that you love.
#3 Chris is one you like but can't work out.
#4 You care most about Sully.
#5 Ashley is the one who knows you very well.
#6 Renee is your lucky star.
#7 Autumns Monologue is the song that matches w/Michael.
#8 Alive Out Of Habit is the song for Chris.
#9 Demonology n Heartache is the song that tells you most bout your mind.
#10 n The Remembrance Ballad is the song telling you how you feel bout life
hmm...seems bout rite...
so dont apologize i hope you choke n die...
I <3 ***** n **** :(
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| this is it |
[It's Monday Mar 21st, 9:20pm -And my heart has skipped its final beat-] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Slipknot |
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I think for good im gunna stop talking to him.I dont wanna see him or hear his voice or even hear is him in a conversation.I think it wood be easier n faster to get over him by treating him the way he has been treating me.Like i dont even exist n as if i dont have any feelings.I can honestly care what he does anymore, he can be happy w/her, i rly dont fucking care.Im done hurting over this fucking kid.He has no idea how i feel bout him, i havent felt this way bout a guy since chris happened..ok well getting kicked off by my sister jizz.....
so dont apologize, i hope you choke n die..
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